When to Let a Relationship Go!

Photo by: garancedore.fr

Expired baggage shouldn’t follow you into a new place, lest you slip back into the old again. This especially goes for unfruitful relationships. Whether it be a friendship or more intimate partnership, each of them have their time and or season to resource each of us before they depart. 

I’m guilty of indulging in expired relationships despite numerous signs urging me to kick rocks. At the sight or scent of a perishing partnership one lover self consciously begins to throw out cues to confirm the inevitable. An awareness of these indicators would have rescued me from many misleading relationships, so I interviewed some folks to get their opinions on what to look for when it’s time to move on, and break the trend of dating seasonal lovers beyond their season. To avoid overburdening you, I narrowed it down to the ten major indicators of when it may be time to let your partner go.

 

WARNING: These points are directed towards dating couples, married people, I'm not sure I can help you.

 

1. Instead of growing together you find yourself solely conforming to his/her routine.
2. Once consistent behavior becomes extremely inconsistent and or no longer seems important to he/she with no mature reason why: that includes communication, calling, spending time together, being involved with one another, etc.
3. When his/her spirituality is irreconcilable with your own beliefs. (“ Two can’t walk together lest they be agreed”).
4. If he/she leaves too many open options regarding who you are to them, or it’s going on several months and you’re still questioning whether or not you two are exclusive.
5. When you’re time together is spent only engaging in sexual activity.
6. If he/she doesn’t value your opinion or believe you have anything to offer intellectually or spiritually, (no growth).
7. If you only miss one another when you’re lonely.
8. When he/she is no longer concerned with how they treat you, and the disrespect grows with no regard to your feelings or how you’re being affected.
9. When he/she is apprehensive about discussing plans for the future involving you two as a couple.
10. And lastly, when you’re constantly questioning why the hell you’re still there?

Photo By: Singleblackmale.org

HOT Commodity

(#Kim&Kanye)

Arm candy! It looks good, tastes better and remembers your birthday – on occasion. But eventually even the sweetest things turn saccharine. Arm candy is short and sweet, it’s not necessarily meant to last and if you want it to, you may have to go out in search of more after realizing you've devoured the first batch! (#maneater)

What the hell do I mean by all this? Well I've realized that as young women today we praise one another for our collection of arm candy, or our successful attempt at getting men to spoil us. We’ve learned to view men as commodities and toy with them as such. One would argue we learned from the pros – men themselves – but you'll never get a positive by adding together 2 negatives!

I recently reconnected with an ex with whom I pathetically flat lined with during our attempts at developing a lasting relationship. After briefing with him I realized one of the reasons our courtship didn’t bloom was because I entered it with an arm candy mentality. At the time I was looking for convenient summer lovers to occupy my spare time. Little did I know this young man noticed something in me that I didn’t, and was looking to commit. Of course my games became his games seeing that we were both inexperienced and the whole thing went up in flames! (#Duh) Despite my tragic love story, many of us yearn for committed relationships yet bearing arm candy outlooks? Notice that like begets like and once you enter a courtship expecting to play games, you will undoubtedly be met with games. Men are instinctual, and will identify the sport immediately and inevitably join in. It’s their easy way out seeing that they’re trying to avoid looking foolish anyways.

So keep in mind that if you’re looking for something serious and or real do away with the arm candy mentality and enter a potential relationship with an honest desire to give and grow, not take and vacate! Your maturity will eventually be matched by a mature suitor. Here’s to hoping, JK. That is all loves! Meow.

Tell a frenemy! 

  

Photo By: www.garancedore.fr

 

"Bitches Be Trippin"

You know what I mean!  Side eye.  Sometimes bitches be trippin’ over the most absurd things. Rarely against innocent bystanders but towards friends: road dogs, ace boon coons (for those still familiar with the expression)!  How dare she trip in my presence.  I’ve been down since 08, Golden Girls status, doesn’t that count for anything?  If my eyes and closet haven’t deceived me, I’ve been a celestial saint to this woman, yet she still trips.  Another side eye?

Girrll, believe it!  Not only is she erratically trippin’ at you but (this might sting), your behavior may have ignited her ‘trippage’ despite your biased efforts to do the contrary.

    

Over time you may tend to notice your patience wearing thin along with your relationships?  When things take that tragic turn with a bff – and they will – instead of sticking it out, our patience persuades us to opt for the side eye and chuck up the invaluable “deuces”!  At the time, ditching feels like the more viable option as opposed to laboring through a conversation with someone who's already irked our nerves to no end. That would require acknowledging our own faults and we're soo good with that! Being made aware of our discrepancies is just downright ruthless, not to mention uncomfortable.  But what if our reasoning was off?  What if friends were our mirrors, positioned in our lives to give us a friendly nudge and reminder that we, indeed, are the trippers! 

What do I mean by all this?  Well, say Mary Sue is fussing with Jane Doe about an issue that Jane Doe has continued to repeat in various situations.  What Mary Sue sees is a rather unflattering reoccurring issue with her friend, so in response, she reacts. Over the meadow and through the woods of Jane Doe’s reasoning she’s stewing over the fact that Mary Sue is constantly trippin’ – hints the title – in doing so she misinterprets the fact that the universe has positioned Mary Sue in her vicinity to make her aware of her own character traits.  Don’t take my word for it, try this at home! I’m sure you have a friend or two that have caused you to consider violence, (in the most nonviolent way)!

Anyways, afterwards we usually diss’ Mary Sue, find replacements and re-live the performance all over again!  Here’s another option, try listening to him/her.  Hear what they have to say.  “Mary Sue” isn’t there to hurt you (at least not on purpose), but to help build you up!  Some people are simply there to show you, you.  Let them.  The closer we get to realizing that and effectively communicating correction to one another the less injury we’ll have towards words and the farther away we’ll hopefully be from trippin’!  

Alritey, ya’ll know the lingo, tell a frenemy!  Meow. 

[No models and or said "bitches" were harmed during this posting]