Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Burning Question

Lately I’ve been rather aroused. Abstinence has been my sexual outlet for longer than I care to admit, and have had little to no issues sustaining myself until now. An easy solution would be to find someone to douse out the fire, right? But seeing that’s why I put the pussy on pause in the first place, (to find out why I always ran to sex) to satiate my appetite with the like would be pretty darn counteractive.

With the “excitement” progressing I began asking myself questions, like why now? What is it that I’m searching to satisfy through sex? Annoyingly the questions only brought forth more questions, but then something strange happened. Recently I was anxiously finishing up a review for a new writing gig I was rather pumped about. Despite praising my own work I hadn’t heard back from my Editor concerning the piece – yet. I became apprehensive. What if they didn’t like it? Or worse, no longer desired my services? Immediately, just like clock work, I became aroused. I wanted to feel better, so my mind drew forth a source of pleasure that’s always appeased me. I'm sure loneliness and other seemingly low frequency emotions spark the same arousal which are sometimes satisfied by food, drugs or plushy toys – same reasoning, different bells and whistles.

After noticing this response despite several situations where a blind eye was turned, I understood, moreso, how damn important it is to enjoy the pleasure of sex with someone I’m actually in love with and wish to share my body with as an expression of that. As a young lady surviving in a "generation of not being in love and not being together" but knocking boots like we are because it doesn't appear there's much else to do, substituting sex as a way to compensate for a lack thereof somewhere in my life or psyche is not the bizness.' It will only dull the major issue for a short while before looping back around again. As for the waiting game with my Editor, I need to relax! Allowing situations to get the best of us isn't necessary because they're never actually greater than we are, so they shouldn't be given such credit. Plus it's probably not as bad as I’ve imagined, and whatever happens will be a stepping stone towards improvement. Chill B.

I’m so glad to share my self talk with you guys, you'll soon be watching more on my youtube channel so stay tuned! Meow.[#attachcrazygalsignhere]

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